When stuff got real

Written from the heart on July 25. Posted at first sign of available wifi.
I met my new house! We trainees visited current peace corps volunteers and our own soon to be homes to see what village life is really like. We spent time setting our own fires, observing Zambian classrooms, walking around, attending events (I even attended a wedding and kitchen party aka bridal shower! I shook my booty in front of a whole yard full of Zambians and we alllllll laughed super hard!) It was a fun week to say the least. 

  
Jim and Julie (those two beautiful souls in the picture) are the current RED (rural education development) volunteers in this home (my new home) and were great hosts during our site visit. In September after we trainees swear in as official peace corps volunteers, I will be moving into this beauty. 
My week was intense and full to the brim with lessons. You might be thinking, “oh man Hannah just realized she’s gonna be pooping In a hole for the next two years” or even “it just hit her that she has no microwave for quick meals.” You might even think, “she is just now understanding that fetching buckets of water for drinking, bathing and washing isn’t as peaceful as she initially thought.” And although yes most of these things have crossed my mind and maybe even caused some nervousness, no, they are still not on the top of my list of important lessons right now. 
This week reaaalllyyyyy had me thinking about the effect that my actions may have on my community and on my time here. I said several times “this is the life you chose.” Later my mom reminded me of the better way of saying that “you are right where you are supposed to be.” ❤ 
 Sticking out like a sore thumb, being called mozungu (foreigner), being asked for money and other difficult situations are all aspects that will be included in this life changing experience I will have. I’ve considered all of these things and even had peace about knowing they were coming before I moved to Zambia, but this week really made it all real. I didn’t consider how much thought I will need to make in the way I choose to spend my time, the people I choose to hang with, etc. Even decisions like whether to attend church or not where and with who can affect the way my community might look at me. This week, ish got real to put it simply. I started considering all of the decisions that I will be making in the next few years a pretty big deal. It’s difficult to articulate my feelings about this but it’s a lesson I surely needed to learn/ need to continue learning through my service. Of course, I have adapted so much to integrate into this culture, and I will surely need to continue doing so. I just pray that my heart stays soft and I don’t become jaded towards the process and the work I will put into integrating during my time here. 
Learning this is by no means a bad thing. I have been known as being overly positive and having a flowery view of everything so yes, these feelings were coming and are good for me I know it. Like I promised myself from the beginning, I will be honest with myself and every emotion as it comes and shoooooot these are the real feelings for now! 
Some details of my soon to be home: I am just a twenty minute walk from my school and my head teachers home (one of my new great friends/ Zambian family). After walking down a thin path to enter the official compound, you will pass by my insaka (gazebo) on your right. To your left, behind the mango tree (YES THERES A MANGO TREE IN MY FRONT YARD!), there is a big lake in view (about a five minute walk to the coast of it) and right in front of you is my new humble home. There’s a spacious porch where I have found much joy reading on while the sun sets in front of me and starting a fire for hot water for a cup of tea. To your right is the front door. When you enter, you’ll find all the necessities of a good kitchen (I’m gonna need to learn to cook :/ ). Keep going to your left and there is a beatiful sitting room with a desk and a nice cushion for sitting. We spent much time here under candle light talking about our lives and sharing stories during our stay this past week. There are two big windows and the walls are painted yellow so the room is very bright. To your left, you’ll enter the bedroom where there is another nice sized window and a beautiful bed (a bed to call all my own!) 
My chimbusu (toilet) and bathing shelter is in the back of the yard through someone else’s (hehe) sweet potato crops. It’s a beautiful home and I’m excited to be calling it mine very soon. 
I hope to make it my little haven of peace. I hope it will be a place where I grow, learn, laugh, feel safe enough to cry, recharge and continue loving my new community the best I can. 
Much love to each of you and thanks so much for your support and love! 
Update- I swear in on August 28! Coming up very quick. 

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