Coming up – A story of hair. A story of self love. A story that ends in me stepping deeper into myself.
So yeah, this happened! I capital C cut my hair and capital L love it.
The story –
I’ve always wanted to… ever since I was a little girl and played Tiny Tim, had a “boy hair cut” (as if yall have a monopoly on short hair pshhhhh 🙄😉 ).
About three weeks ago, my obsession with cutting my hair flared up again. I googled too many pics, wrote close friends to ask opinions, and admired ever single fierce women in my life or that walked past me for their bold hair do. “Go ahead” I would whisper under my breath. I wanted to join the short hair club.
My obsession subsided again and I settled into what felt like a dead head of hair that I never did anything with. I wanted the boldness to cut it short but I couldn’t get over the fact that maybe people would not like it. That I would somehow be less lovable without a full head of “girl hair”. (spoiler alert, NOTHING makes us less lovable).
Fast forward a few weeks and I receive a message from a fellow couch-surfer (*definition below*) who stumbled upon my “I’m coming to Amsterdam” post on the website. Amongst a full and sweet introduction, he wrote “I’d looove to create an awesome new haircut for you and have you model it for my instagram.” Ummmm what? How had he known? What was this sign and who did it come from? I was intrigued, we exchanged info and I trusted that my instincts would tell me if this was something to avoid (spoiler alert – my instincts told me that it was wholesome and they were right per usual).
We messaged back and forth for a few days, exchanged many hair pictures, and talked about my reservations and fears. “I feel worried that society’s beauty standards will make me feel bad.” “Beauty is so much more than that!” “What if my scalp is unhealthy and looks bad?” “Moisturize, honey!” “And if I simply don’t like it?” “Hair grows
back, girl.” My new friend and soon to be favorite hairdresser Sushanth (he is truly a pro, check out his insta here) and some trustworthy friends worked me through it. By the time Tuesday (our meeting day) came I had made up my mind. I was returning to Greece a little different.
Suzz pushed me in the best way to cut my hair. Cutting my hair symbolized me pursuing me more strongly. Mywholeself. Letting go of some stuff that was no longer serving me. I was doing this for me and me only. I loved that. It ended up being kinda a big deal for me, a spiritual experience through a physical transformation. He put the dead skin cells in a pony tail, I counted to three, and he cut it off. My eyes filled with happy, excited tears and I meditated on all the things that I was choosing to let go. I thought I would miss that hair… I don’t.
I’ve spent these past few days excited about my hair and in a way, a little more excited about me. Not because “I am my hair.” India.Arie taught me better… But because one step in the direction of me embracing my whole self, is a step toward complete self love and I feel brave and strong and fierce and bold in my pursuit of loving myself through this act. Thank you Suzz for the cut! Thank you friends and family who remind me that I’m rocking it. Thanks to me for pursuing me.
Can’t stop, won’t stop (taking selfies)
This cut was the spiritual renewing experience that I had hoped for but DANG what I didn’t expect was to look as good as I do in it. I feel like my hair is now a frame for my shining face. Confidence looks good as hell on me as it does on each of us. KILL IT ME! AND KILL IT YALL! Do you. Rock it and know you’re rocking it. Much love and self love and confidence and us doing us for us to each of us.
Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I’m walking into my 27th year on this earth pursuing self love and acceptance. Stay tuned for the hair love 27 may bring. With this freedom, don’t be surprised if you see designs on the sides, sharp line ups, and… different colors?? I’M FREE!
What’s a story of you doing you for you and you only? A time when you just knew you were killing it? When you didn’t even need outside affirmations to know that?
* – couchsurfing.com – a network of travelers and hosts who wanna exchange culture and stories